Chapter III

It was well over an hour before they all got to the rendezvous place, Suite 1176 at the Trump Palace Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey. Lord Hollander and his partner, the mysteriously sensual Miss Moo Chang, came first, after the four hour flight from Bermuda. Clyde and the stranger (real name - "Theodore Lind") arrived next, toting along Tibby and a suitcase full of cream cheese (which had to be immediately refrigerated). Following five minutes later, Dr. Chet DeGana and Dr. Igmar Anderson entered the room after driving up from North Carolina in Chet’s hot pink 1978 Chrysler Impala. Yolanda Win (aka Janette Safon) showed up twenty minutes late. They were quickly followed in by Admiral Lymon, the leader of the entire operation, who began the impromptu meeting with, "Since I called you all here, I suppose I should bring you up to speed on how Operation Swingline is progressing. In an effort to save the Safon boy from enemy agents, Agent Uiop Povashanko, who had been posing as Douglas Safon, was sucked out of a window to his death. His partner, Yolanda, can fill you in as to the details...Yolanda."

"Thank you Admiral Lymon. Uiop and I were carefully going over some sensitive material when we heard the little shit screaming. Jonathan was being sucked out of the window. Uiop proceeded to the window and pulled him back in, but he was pulled out himself, yelling the word ‘nine’ until he hit the ground. I have no clue what he meant by ‘nine’. Anyway, I looked out the window and saw nine large cockroaches devouring his body. I confess to falling unconscious at that point."

"Roaches!" screamed Dr. DeGana, "Not them again. Shit, I thought we took care of them years ago?"

"I guess we didn’t," responded the admiral. There was a general groaning sound from the remainder of the group, "now this is our game plan...we know we’ve got to figure out why the Imperial Roach Empire wants to nab the Safon kid...we’ve got to figure out who has been sending those mysterious messages to DeGana and Anderson...and we’ve got to continue to keep the Safon kid out of danger for the time being. I suppose we all know how we have to do this...we’re gonna have to infiltrate and destroy the Roach headquarters, and y’all know there is only one man on Earth who can lead this operation...Clyde."

"Excuse me," Clyde said, "I have no clue what the hell is going on here. I was sitting with my cat when this stranger rams into my house and kidnaps me here. I’ve listened to all of this whacked out bullshit you’ve been spouting about enemy cockroach agents and some little kid they want to capture...I can tell you now that I want no part of this fucking mess!"

Admiral Lymon grimaced, "I know you’re confused, but quite frankly you have no choice...if you don’t do it I will be forced to kill you. Now just listen, you are going to go with Anderson, DeGana, Win, Lind, Moo Chang, and Lord Hollander to Buenos Aires to save the planet from destruction by evil mutant cockroaches from the planet Neptune...and I do not want to hear any more shit from you about it! Okay?"

Just then Moo Chang moved her luxuriant body over to Clyde and said in a low sensual voice, "Do not worry; come down to my room and I’ll explain everything to you."

Clyde, who now had a rather noticeable erection, responded, "Thank you. I’d love to have sex with you...uh...I mean talk to you."

"Don’t be embarrassed Clyde, all men want to have sex with me, I am irresistible."

"No time for a screw now, Moo, your plane to Argentina leaves in forty minutes," Lymon interrupted, "now go back to work and don’t fuck up this time." So they all left for their mission to South America. Immediately after they left, Admiral Lymon picked up the telephone and said one word before he hung up. He said, "nine."